If you follow me on Instagram, you've probably noticed that I've archived all of my old posts. Don't panic; everything's okay. Besides taking a little social media detox, I took some time to really think about who I am and what I want in life. I'm only 22 years old, so trying to figure out life is a pretty normal thing I guess.
After a day trip with my boyfriend resulted in a major fight (don't worry, it's all good now!) we ended up talking about what we really wanted in life from where we wanted to live, to what we wanted from each other, to what we wanted from our careers. Through this conversation, I went of a little self-discovery trip. I realized that I was being so easily influenced by outside forces, that I had lost little pieces of myself along the way recently. A lot of what I was doing with my blog was just a reflection of how I thought I was supposed to do it based on what other bloggers I'd never even met were doing. While there's definitely a reason why these girls are successful, I also felt like the "formula" didn't really fit me. I felt like a couldn't be snarky anymore for fear of people not "getting" me. I felt like I couldn't post a lot of the more revealing outfits I wanted to anymore for fear of being a "bad example". I started actually shopping based on what I thought people wanted to see and dreading taking pictures and posting entries. Blogging had stopped being fun and was turning into a pain in the ass.
After my little bit of blogging self-realization and a much-needed Instagram detox, I decided to archive all of my old posts and start fresh by posting what I want, not what I think other people want. My first look in this new frame of mind in me in this Calvin Klein lingerie set. I'd been wanting to post this set for a while, but I was too afraid that it might be too "scandalous" to post.
Since when did I start giving a fuck about family-friendly posts and demographics?! Since when did my witchy, rock n roll, punk ass start shopping at places because they were "trendy"?! Since when did I start turning my little corner of the internet into a bunch of posts of me on outfits I wasn't totally in love with and stiff poses that were part of some imaginary success formula?!
So here's the "new" me, which is really the old me. Here's a post that I was afraid to share because it might be too "revealing" or "artistic" because I'm in lingerie and laying across my coffee table instead of wearing a romper from some trendy online boutique in a stiff pose on a street corner.
Here I am. No formulas. No fronts. No apologies.
If you don't like it, you can kick rocks.
Photographer: Nathan Jelenich